


There's No Place Like Gotham

by Thatgirlwithweirdhair



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M, Sweeey Todd AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 20:01:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11448039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatgirlwithweirdhair/pseuds/Thatgirlwithweirdhair
Summary: "These are probably the worst pies in Gotham"Completely insane Nygmobblepot Sweeney Todd AU!Mr Nygma, the owner of the worst pie shop in Gotham, meets 'The Penguin' formerly known as Oswald Cobblepot, a reformed baraber on a quest of revenge against captain Harvey Bullock for his former husband Jim Gordon.





	There's No Place Like Gotham

**Author's Note:**

> So I can't take all the credit for this, I wrote it with my beautiful girlfriend, who sadly doesn't have an AO3 account, but does have a wattpad, So go check her out here http://my.w.tt/UiNb/ct9BhInxDE She's wonderful and means the world to me so I'm giving the credit to her
> 
> One more person to thank, Toriirdz on tumblr! Their art is incredible and they made a wonderful drawing of a Sweeney Todd AU, inspiring this absolute madness! So thank you!  
> Ps-  
> We know this is inane. Embrace it. And we keeping the musical numbers. Just go with it.

The Penguin, known previously as Oswald Cobblepot, ran a hand through his raven hair, a streak of white running through it. The years had not been kind to the criminal after losing his husband and child. He looked across the street 'Mr Nygma's Pie Shop.' The rickety sign read. He scoffed slightly before walking towards it, so this was what had become of his old shop. All he saw was Jim, he could almost feel him in his presence. He sighed and pushed the door open to find a tall, curly haired man sat wielding a knife. When the man heard the bell ring, he tensed, knife digging into the wooden cutting board beneath it.

The curly haired man gasped softly when he saw the stranger. "A customer!" He moved closer and pulled the shorter man in before he could leave. "Wait! What's your rush what's your hurry? You gave me such a fright I thought you was a ghost!" He pushed him down into the chair before pushing the door shut and moving back behind his counter. "Did you come in for a pie Sir~? Do forgive me if me head's a little vague!" He picked up what looks to be a roach and threw it to the floor before stomping on it. "What was that? That you think we had the plague, from the way that people keep avoiding?" He picked up his rolling pin and slammed it down on another roach. "No you don't." He sighed and looked up at the other, taking a pie and setting it down on the table in front of Oswald. "No denying times is hard Sir." Oswald frowned, more than a little confused by this strangely eccentric man running the shop. He wanted to leave, but felt it probably wasn't the most polite of things, nor the smartest as the man had practically shoved him down into the chair. He glanced up at him, the man certainly wasn't bad looking. In rough shape, sure, but he was pleasant enough. He reached forward, picking up the stale pie. Taking a small bite, he had to hold back a gag. It was, without a doubt, the worst thing he had tasted, and he was a prisoner. He couldn't swallow it for how fowl the taste was, no matter how hard he tried. Once the owners back was turned he spat it out to the side, slamming the pie back down on the table as the awful taste lingered in his mouth. 

"Is that just disgusting, you have to concede it. It's nothing but crusting, here drink this, you'll need it. The worst pies in Gotham." The man said sadly, setting down a cup of ale in front of the man. He moved back behind his counter and threw some flour on the board with the squished cockroach. "No wonder with the price of meat! What is it, when you get it." He threw some dough down, causing flour to surround him in a cloud. "Never thought I'd live to see the day. Men'd think it was a treat, find poor animals, what are dying in the streets!" He pressed the dough down with his hands and sighed. The former barber glanced up at him again and arched his brow. This man certainly was something. He picked up the mug, downing the lukewarm ale. It didn't taste much better than the pies, but anything was better than the pies, he concluded to himself as he put the mug back down on the table. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, not interrupting the mindless babbling of the brown haired man in front of him. Gotham hadn't gotten much better, it seemed. Still full of drunks and crazy people, but somehow this babbling man was almost endearing.Nygma picked up a rolling pin and slammed it down onto the dough. "Mr. Nashton has a pie shop, does his business but I've noticed something weird, lately all his neighbors cats have disappeared." He slammed the rolling pin down once again as he spoke. "Have to hand it to im', what a course, Enterprise, poppin' pussies into pies." He started to roll the dough out now, a frown on his lips. "Wouldn't do in my shop. Just the thought of it's enough to make ya' sick.." He paused, starting to nod slowly. "And I'm tellin' you them pussycats is quick.." He glanced up at the man in his shop. "No denying times is hard Sir, even harder then the worst pies in Gotham," He rolled the slab of dough over the bottom of the pie he was making, a cockroach running into the pie. 

He shook his head a little as he watched him, running his fingers through his streaked hair and folded his arms as he watched the baker, if you could even call him that, continued to ramble. The man was right, it couldn't get much worse than eating stray cats. Apart from Mr Nygma, his pies were worse than anything. He couldn't fault his claim they were the worst in Gotham, because they truly were. He knew times were tough for businesses, especially small ones, but had no idea it was as desperate as having to use stray meat. He kept his face blank asides from a frown, the taste still on his tongue, wanting to make him wretch. He continued to work with the pie, frowning still. "Only lard and nothing more, is that just revolting? All greasy and gritty, it looks like it's molting and tastes like, well pity a man alone.." He said, lathering butter onto his pie, glancing up at the man. "With limited wind, and the worst pies in Gotham!" He sighed as he put the pie in the oven before resting his head on his hand. "Ah sir.. times is hard.. times is hard!" He grabbed the rolling pin and hit a bug, going silent. He picked up the mug, desperately trying to swallow any last drop of ale to wash the taste out before slamming it down and looking up. He properly looked at the man for the first time. He was pale, thin and towered over him in height. Then again, height wise, everyone did. Even Jim. He frowned as the thought of his husband entered his mind once more, back in the shop he worked in so long ago. Edward frowned upon seeing the man drink the rest of the ale. "Trust me deary, it's gonna take a lot more than ale to wash that down. Come with me."

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter will be longer, this is just a sort of tester chapter as you will. Hope you enjoyed and please let us know what you think!


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